Hey guys...
Do you mind listing what meds you have found useful in battling depression, or at least helping you get through the 'bad days'? I've looked into SSRI's and dont like the idea of sexual side effects (or long term taking of any meds really). Wellbutrin seems like it could be a good option for me if I decide to go long term. I've also looked into Valium/Xanex (benzos) for just my really dark days, or maybe ativan or similar, or self medicating with oxys/vicodin on my very bad days, just to get me through them.
What works or has worked for you? Or, did they not help much?
Backstory (if you want)
So in the aftermath of my third round of PMMA I've been really up and down. A lot of it for real reasons - I didn't stick to my guns in my instructions to Dr. C and as a result I lost another 1/8" of erect length. Still hasn't shown a hint of coming back with vigerous stretching/pumping.
Ah well...my fault. I knew it could happen if I allowed Dr. C to 'interlock' the new pmma with the old in certain areas, which he prefers to do so that the aesthetic outcome is smooth. Typically it's a good strategy, on 'normal' patients. Well I allowed him to interlock it into my tethering rock hard base mound, which tethered even more of the shaft to that mound. As a result, longer erections are even harder to achieve. Looks like I'm the fucking length loss king of this procedure. . It's just the story of my life - I've got shit luck hah. It's my fault. He would not have done it if I said 'no', but I said 'ehhh...go ahead'. Whoops!
My mind is so fucking up and down right now. I've been going over in my head how much of a waste the past 4 or so years have been. The friends I've let drift away because of my desire to be away from sexually charged environments (normal people things like bars, parties, small get togethers, anything with booze, which people my age love). Recently I've had a weeks worth of scary bad days - the worst emotionally of my life. Where I don't eat or do anything the entire day except peruse suicide boards and research different methods. Not that I haven't looked this shit up before, but the past 3 days in particular were so fucking intensely hopeless, to the point in manifesting itself into physical pain.
Usually if I wake up in a shit mood, I sit up, walk around a bit, get the blood flowing and am able to put my problems into perspective eventually - feel more even keeled by evening at least. But it's hard to put "having a shorter dick because of my own choices" into perspective. I mean, in a way that's among the reallest, shittiest problem a guy could ever experience. At least with a terminal disease you have a set end point and you die. This issue I'll have to live with and learn to accept. I still can reach my old length technically, but now I have to thrust my hips out a lot to reach it. I guess there's that - it could have gone away completely, but at least I can attain it.
My dicks still a work in progress but I have a plan to get decently recovered (touch up the PMMA and circ scar w/ silicone md, get one of my glans scars closed, laser treatment on the glans redness), it's just gonna take some time. I'm not sure I can last that long without external help (medication) though. My own emotions as a result of this bad luck, combined w/ effects of said bad luck like constantly avoiding social situations, etc are too uncontrollable.
I'd gladly listen to some meds experiences from any one of the wise sages here. I know I get on here and whine a lot, and I'm sorry to come off that way. But in a way you guys have been the only crew I've known for a long time now. This place is usually a great source for strength and learning - some of the posts I've recieved have literally carried me on for months at a time. I love and thank you all for that, even if I really only know a sliver of who you are.
Category: Patient Support Group & Progress Reports